I was diagnosed in August 2003. . . just over three years ago. Diagnosed with what you ask? I was diagnosed with the disease that plagues too many women in our country; a disease which is looked upon with great sympathy and charity by those without the syndrome. I was diagnosed a Single Mom. Oh the horror, I thought! I hated the words "Single Mom." I wanted nothing to do with that label. I knew with that label came the perception that I was incapable of so much. Our American culture teaches us to feel sorry for the single mom. She's a charity case. She's forced into situational poverty. She's run down, worn out, and emotionally vulnerable. I cringed to hear myself think the words "single mom." I refuse to be a charity case. I did not want to fall victim to the definition society applies to the single mom, so I avoided the words and the stereotype as much as possible. I believe the single mom can be victorious. She does not have to be what we have all been taught to think of her. She can be so much more, and it is up to her to make the decision to overcome the disease.

It has been a passion of mine to write a book on this very subject, but until I find the time to commit to that project, I will use this blog as my outlet for teaching, encouraging, and uplifting others who have been diagnosed.

There are different causes for this disease. My diagnosis came as the result of a divorce. Others are diagnosed due to the death of a partner, or the decision to have their baby without the commitment of marriage, and still others are diagnosed due to the misfortune of a nonconsentual relationship. Whatever the cause of the disease, the fact remains the same . . . you are parenting your child(ren) on your own or with the small assistance of a part-time participating father figure. The initial symptoms of the disease which will be noticeable immediatly are strained finances, loss of freedoms you were previously accustomed to, fatigue, frustration, possible feelings of defeat, lonliness, abandonment, and others.

More than likely your friends, family, co-workers, etc. have affirmed these feelings and syptoms for you. They may not have done it intentionally, but the affirmation comes in the long faces, the statements that all pretty much say "We're feeling sorry for you. We know this is going to be so tough for you." This is what we are taught to do for single moms. . . feel sorry for them, treat them as charity cases, expect very litte from them.

My mission is to change all of that! I think it starts with the single moms. If we can change our thinking, then gradually, our culture will change theirs too. Living as a single mom is tough work. I am not denying that, but our job is not impossible, nor is it without its rewards.

I am here to tell you that as a single mom you do not have to settle for a life of charity. You can be an active, and valuable contributor to society. You can be successful in a career and be successful as a parent. You can be financially independent. You can wake up each morning and go to bed each night feeling accomplished, and not defeated.

I hope you will join me on a journey to discover how we can live with the diagnosis we have been given, while overcoming the disease we have been labeled with.